We all know the tale of Ebeneezer Scrooge and his wicked ways as well as we know there will be a family fallout over Christmas dinner. We’ve heard it a hundred times, from actors ranging from Alastair Sim to Michael Caine and Gonzo from The Muppets. However, Stu McLoughlin and Howard Coggins add a whole new twist to the festive tale in Living Spit’s version.
Walking up the dark and misty moonlit path to Arnos Vale’s Anglican Chapel, past silhouetted graves and toward the light, you can’t help but be in the mood for horror.
There could hardly be a better place to immerse yourself in a familiar Gothic tale of the undead than this beautiful and foreboding cemetery on a dark and blustery November night.
STOP DAYDREAMING AND CONCENTRATE
After Primary School, lets face it, the fun is over. High school means you have to work out how to act like a grown up, or at least learn the ability to pretend convincingly you’re a grown up.
You don’t play games, not imaginative games. You learn to play social games. You’re made to stand up and read in front of the class. You’re terrified, and you have no idea what the words mean, not really.
You don’t understand the story yet, because you haven’t experienced anything yet. You’re learning to fit in and fake the emotions though, so you blend in with the crowd.
But you know the words mean something, so you start to wonder about them, usually secretly. You wonder what you can learn from them. The stories you hear seem to have the answer to something you can’t quite grasp.
BUT THAT’S NOT IMPORTANT
You have your set texts. GCSE’s are important. You need to hit the targets or the school looks bad, your parents will be disappointed, and you will feel bad.
If you don’t get your grades, how will you learn to tick all the other boxes ahead of you satisfactorily.
You’ll never get into college. You’ll never get a job. You won’t be a success.
Won’t I, you wonder? Really?
DON’T ASK STUPID QUESTIONS
They are not on the designated sheet. They are out of the scope of the reading list. Those texts that catch your imagination are too modern, those artists that intrigue you are too vulgar. Your opinions are not shared by the class, and your answers don’t fit the marking criteria. You don’t make the grade.
So, now there are two obvious paths to tread; because your imagination is broad and varied, but what the majority of people count as ‘growing up’ and ‘being successful’ is not.
That’s when you meet and court those most limiting of characters;
Fuck ‘em, and compliance.
Fuck ‘em says: The hell with ‘literature’ and ‘aesthetics’ and, all that other bollocks.
They’re for rich wankers anyway. For people with too much time on their hands.
They’re for armchair philosophers and self indulgent bastards who like to sound clever in front of their smug peers down the pub. Literature is for people with too much money who don’t have to get a ‘real’ job. If you wrote anything honest down, they wouldn’t understand it anyway, because they don’t go out and experience things.They just read about them. They read Shakespeare and Tolstoy and they haven’t a clue about real life.
Fuck ‘em says; If I don’t know the right words, they’ll never take me seriously. If I don’t read the right books, and have the right grades, they’ll make me feel small.
So you stop daydreaming, stop asking questions, stop getting lost in stories or writing anything honest, you just get on with it.
Then you feel sad and you don’t know why. Because you can’t express yourself, and you feel like you shouldn’t. You just want to fit in.
Don’t worry, a disheartened, tired voice inside you says.
Just get home, put on Netflix and it will tell you what you’ll like, based on previous selections. No need to discover or explore. No need to think anymore.
Work in the morning.
Or you can listen to compliance.
Suddenly saying Stephen King or Nick Hornby are your favourite authors is embarrassing. You could safely upscale to Bukowski or Hunter S. Thomson because they’re pretty cool. But you have to know they’re cool because of the drugs and the drinking, not really think about the message behind what they’re saying.
You need bite size quotes. Bite size quotes impress.
Who cares if you didn’t read the whole story. You can only tweet 140 characters anyway. Or you can just put a selfie on Facebook of you in black rimmed glasses, drinking a latte with the book next to you, you don’t even need a quote for that.
Later, of course, you will have to know the more ‘literary’ writers. You’ll need to be familiar with canonical texts and learn to pronounce authors like Dostoyevsky* correctly.
You’ll need to know at least a summary of Shakespeare’s plays. Was Hamlet the one where he holds out the skull, and Macbeth the one where he goes murderously mad, or the other way round?
Just learn to remember the facts, and when it comes up at the pub quiz, over a craft ale, you’ll sound very intelligent indeed.
You learn it all, and you know all the best lines. You can say all the right words in the right places. You fit right in. You’re successful. A real grown up.
But you feel sad and you don’t know why.
You can’t express yourself, and you feel like you shouldn’t. You’ve learned so many second hand opinions, you’re not even sure what you think anymore.
Don’t worry, put on Netflix and it will tell you what you’ll like, based on previous selections.
No need to think anymore. Work in the morning.
So, readers, Small Stories is here to tell you you needn’t choose either.
Literature, in whichever way you choose to write it, read it, perform it, or listen to it, is cathartic.
It’s good for you.
It makes you question life, consider other points of view, and tell your own truth, however you wish to tell it.
Ask stupid questions, because that’s how you learn.
Tell your truths despite being a ‘proper grown up’, and never stop daydreaming and doodling at the back of class.
Thanks to everyone who came to the event, and thanks for getting involved and writing down your confessions. There’s a selection below and I’m sure there’ll be more from Small Stories soon… so keep in touch @smallstorybris
Confessions from the evening can be found below…
*My truth: Dos-toy-ev-sky. I had to do that in my mind when writing this. I also wiki searched the spelling. Just in case.
A selection of your confessions from the Literature Festival launch:
“Sometimes at poetry readings I switch off and just think about myself” – Er, thanks for coming Graham
“I am as soft as down & as frightened as a chicken” – Carol
“I love Jonny” – Well Sophie, if he’s reading this, can I count matchmaking as one of the services provided by Small Stories? Keep me posted eh.
“I should have known I was a lesbian when I fancied Mary Poppins as a child”. Cassie
“I’m going to be an English teacher and I still don’t fully understand how apostrophes work”. Hannah
“I own hundreds of DVDs, but don’t have a DVD player”. Josh
“I am over 30 & I still can’t tell my left from my right. Now I have developed a system where I have to clap in order to know which way is left. It’s weird”. Yer tis Christie, but whatever works!
Hopefully see you all at the other amazing Bristol Festival of Literature events on around Bristol this week…
Small Stories presents: The Bristol Festival of Literature Launch Party
Oct 17th, 8.00pm – late at Watershed Café Bar
Can you hear the truth?
The modern world is full of words. It’s hard to cut through the noise. From click bait articles to 140 character self-promotion to advertising masquerading as news to social media self-propaganda, it’s hard to tell what’s real and to get your voice heard.
Everyone has a story to tell, no matter who they are or how they choose to tell it. Often, the most memorable stories are honest – they share experiences, they teach you different points of view.
That’s what Small Stories is all about. We find the people with the most interesting truths, and we give them a stage.
You’ll hear from some of Bristol’s best Theatre Performers (Ellen Waddell), Performance Artists (Bella Fortune), Spoken Word Performers (Dean McCaffery) and from your slightly cynical, but ever honest, host (Natalie Burns).
There’ll also be a live DJ set and the chance to get involved and make your story heard – all for free. Donations welcome of course!
Most importantly, whether you like it or not, we only speak the truth.
Learn a little more about our truth tellers…
Ellen Waddell is a writer, director, performance artist and musician.
She’s been featured on BBC Radio Bristol, and her one-woman show ‘Jean Luc Picard and Me,’ has just returned from the Edinburgh Fringe.
Ellen will be performing a piece of prose about the difficulty of being honest in a world where self-promotion is valued above all else.
Natalie Burns is a writer, reviewer and ex-copywriter. She is co-creator of Bristol writers group, Small Stories, and currently working on the board of organisers for Bristol festival of Literature.
Natalie will be hosting the event, and reading a short tale about why writing is the best way to make sure that being a ‘proper grown-up’ doesn’t ruin your dreams.
Bella Fortune is a writer, performer and performance maker. Her first two solo shows were performed as part of Mayfest at the Wardrobe and Solo Showcase, Solo Lab and her third is currently in development with support from Ferment, Bristol Old Vic.
Bella will be critiquing the critic by performing a poem about her own experience of the pro and cons of reviewing.
Dean McCaffrey is a Bristol based writer & musician who has performed with the ‘Apples & Snakes’, a UK based spoken word organization, ‘Listen Softly’ in London and ‘Stemschot’ in Belgium. He performs spoken word & hip-hop around the city.
Dean will be telling some very real spoken word truths in his unique, creative and inimitable style.
From an early age, Mr. Sleven has been scribbling on every canvas or wall he can get his grubby, paint stained paws on. Each piece is produced with the thought and intention of giving the viewer an insight into his world and a piece of his soul. He can mainly be found dwelling around the colourful underbelly of Stokes Croft.
Luke will be illustrating one of the Small Stories live on stage, and we’ll be auctioning of his unique, original painting at the end of the event.
Usually found lurking in the more dark and dangerous corners of the city, DJ BarrTheTruth has decided to step into the light to play us some funky tunes when the performances are over.
He’ll be making sure you all feel relaxed and groovy, and that you stick around to meet some fun people, have a drink or two, and enjoy the party.
Bristol Literature Festival is hosting 16 events, right across the city.
I took on a project recently that I am pretty excited about.
I’m working for a start-up company with some incredibly clever aerospace engineers who’ve invented a new type of torque coupling (see slides for an image!) which is present in most vehicle engines.
While the technical nuances of this revolutionary invention escape me, they assure me it makes engines more eco-friendly and safe.
They all quit very well paid jobs to form the business. They have years of engineering experience between them. They clearly know their shit.
What they don’t know shit about, is digital, which is why they hired me.
However, I have had great difficulty explaining that before we get to the exciting (read: pretty) bits of building their new website we need to consider IA and UX. They just don’t see the value in it.
It’s a scenario many people in the web industry will know well. The engineers know they need to be online, and they know they need to digitally market their product because their competitors do. But they think digital marketing and SEO copywriting is all a load of fluff and nonsense. They also have no clue whatsoever how websites actually work beyond what you can see. They don’t need to.
These guys aren’t fans of digital, and are even less keen on marketers. They make ‘proper’ things. Tangible and very complicated parts that keep aeroplanes in the air. They work from CAD diagrams, test materials under different strains to ensure they don’t fail.
If they fail, people die.
Comparatively, digital marketing does seem a bit lame.
The problem is that given the nature of their invention, the site needs to contain a hell of a lot of information, and will need to track a lot of data. From demonstration videos to technical specs to material and safety data spanning four very different industries to a catalogue of various parts and information on their applications – this project is going to be a big job.
I gathered all the information I could, learned about the industries they are going to sell to, and split what we needed to include into sections. Then I made a low-fi wireframe of the site.
I sent the frame to the engineers and told them not to worry about images or final copy at this stage, but to click things, see if they could find all the information sections they thought their customers needed and expected to see, where they would expect to find it.
I told them to note down what worked and what didn’t, not to discuss this with each other, and to bring the notes to our next meeting.
Well no. It wasn’t at all.
I tried to explain that the section titles were merely an indicator of what sort of content would be included. I explained that the content blocks could be repeated on different pages, and that there were different paths people could use to reach pages.
I explained that the placeholder ‘image’ squares could be videos, pictures, diagrams – we just needed to work out what resources we would need. I explained this was a big job, which is why we needed to get the user journeys and IA right at the initial stage.
They didn’t get it at all. I spent over an hour unable to get them to move away from the homepage, and to stop asking why all the information (and an animated gif logo – eek) shouldn’t be on the homepage.
They wanted to know what the banner image would look like, whether we should have this or that title, and I couldn’t get their heads around the concept of content blocks. They would only think in terms of pages. When I decided it might be easier to show them the user journeys off screen, I got the post-it’s out.
That sealed my doom as another trendy marketing tosser.
I decided to take a different tack at our next meeting. I explained that like any physical architecture, we needed a blueprint from which to work. I explained that it’s wasn’t marketing, it was technical. I explained that if the measurements and materials specified in the blueprint were wrong, the builders could knock something up that may look great for a moment, but would soon fall over.
They hadn’t in fact realised that there were builders required at all. However, by explaining the process in terms they were familiar and comfortable with, they got it.
The materials testing engineer was the first to really see merit in this approach. He realised my job was in nature, pretty similar to his (minus the threat of physical crashes); testing, tweaking, improving iteratively so you know that by the time you put the plane in the air, you know it won’t fall out of the sky.
He convinced the MD to stop thinking about the logo, and just give me the facts. Plain and simple. He finally understood that whatever journey you map, all roads lead to home (digitally speaking) and that this process meant finding the most simple, logical and well sign-posted route from A to B.
So I’ve made some tweaks to my blueprint based on engineering expertise, and we are nearly ready to call in the builders. In a world where people expect to be wowed by quick results, and where marketing is often a dirty word (and let’s face it, a lot of it is fluff), we need to go back to basics, and to remember to talk to people without the jargon.
It can be easy to just agree with what the client wants, but the truth is, they often don’t really know what they need. IA is something marketers, writers, designers and project managers should consider before they kick off any project.
Information architecture may not be sexy, but it’s the blueprint that all the shiny stuff is built around.
All sites are different, and levels of complexity will obviously vary, but not matter what information you need to include, you should consider IA. It may not be exciting or nice to look at, but it’s well worth paying for.
Think back to when you were a small child, to a time when you could create exciting worlds of adventure and menace simply with your imagination. The earth was too big to contemplate, and so the tiny intricacies of your small corner of it were intriguing enough to command your undivided attention.
It’s usually impossible to feel that level of excitement and wonder as an adult. The big things get in the way.
That’s one of the many reasons that The Paper Cinema is so unique and wonderful. Last night’s Bristol Festival of Puppetry opener at Watershed (three short ‘films’ animated by paper puppeteers, and projected onto the big screen with incredible technical skill) made me feel like a child again, full of unbridled imagination.
On June 20th, I went on my first protest march – the People’s Assembly Anti Austerity March in London. I have previously blogged about my concerns about the conservative party in the UK under Cameron, mainly in terms of the education system (I went to a school in Lincolnshire, one of then only two counties still operating under Thatcher’s 11+ system, with which I wholly disagree).
When Cameron was re-elected, I was both disappointed, and completely surprised. Part of that surprise may admittedly have come from the fact I now live in Bristol, a fairly left wing and liberal pocket where I hadn’t heard much support for the conservatives.
The planned cuts will not directly affect me in any desperate way, at least not immediately. However I worked my way to my current position though many, many, minimum wage, zero hours contracts and unpaid internships to gain the experience I needed to end up in a digital marketing role that pays me enough not to have to rely on the state for assistance.
I was also lucky enough to sign up for university in the last year before the fees doubled. I certainly couldn’t have afforded to attend otherwise. I’m still paying off student overdrafts I took out to make up for the badly paid pub jobs that funded the rest, and for that I’m aware the tories aren’t to blame.
No party in particular should shoulder soul responsibility. Selfish capitalist leadership that puts misunderstood faith in banks and lending markets beyond their control is the problem. That kind of leadership blindly advertises practicable ideologies that sell an unsustainable dream.
My first full-time job was at a fruit packing factory in Boston, Lincolnshire. Boston is a very woking class town, and much of the employment there is factory work. I was unsurprised to hear that Boston had become a UKIP stronghold, and that Lincolnshire is predominantly conservative.
Returning home a few years ago, the factory where I used to work was operating at half capacity, and most of the remaining workers were Polish. The old boys I had worked with, many of whom had been there most of their adult lives were now, presumably, out of a job. There has been rioting in Boston over the immigration issue, and even my mother, a Caribbean immigrant who came over to pursue a career in nursing in the 70’s was repeating the ‘they come over here, take our jobs’ rhetoric.
The real issue wasn’t being addressed. Polish workers were being exploited for cash in hand jobs that pay less than a decent living wage, and others were being put out of work to make way for them. The sad thing is, the political marketing propaganda had worked – no one I spoke to at home asked why this situation was allowed to happen; all opinions I heard blamed the immigrant workers. People in a bad situation are easier to persuade, and can be, understandably, quick to blame.
What really surprised and upset me though was the effect the Tory PR machine had on people my age, and in a more comfortable position – the ‘aspirational’ middle class.
It was conversations with colleagues in my current employment that made me aware of a different problem. The opinions that had been sold to them, both by political spin and aspirational lifestyle marketing (the kind I used to write, I just quit my job) were pervasive - marketing and the political agenda have become inseparable from each other.
One colleague in his mid-twenties and working in sales asked if I had ever ‘actually met anyone who has had to queue for a food bank’ and whether I was friends with any of ‘them’. The implication, quite clearly being, that it didn’t effect ‘us’, and therefore, why worry about it. Worse still, that ‘they’ probably deserved the position they were in.
Another colleague backed him up, spouting a deviation of the original American Dream, now rebranded by Cameron as the ‘aspiration nation’ that if ‘they’ worked hard, they’d be where ‘we’ are.
Both colleagues work very hard (and I am a great believer in working hard if you expect to get anywhere, guilt free) but this opinion came from people who were from a very comfortable background that meant they had never had to financially struggle, or to rely on the state for help. They had never had to work in unskilled and precarious employment.
The biggest worry for me is that I can understand both opinions – those of the factory workers, and those of the aspirational office workers. But only on a personal, individual level.
And that is where the political marketing spiel, whether Tory or New Labour, is really clever.
They aren’t selling politics that build a stronger national at all. They are creating policies that harm the more vulnerable people they should be democratically representing.
The current Tory policies market an unattainable lifestyle and selfish values in the same way that advertising does.
They appeal to individuals at the detriment of the majority, while (whether naively or deliberately) empowering market forces over whom neither they, or we, have any control or authority. That’s divisive, and it breeds a blame culture.
Divisive politics are dangerous. A strong Britain empowers everyone, from the bottom up.
Did you click that? I knew you would. That’s because I work in marketing.
Marketers and PR people can and will try to sell you anything. Half the time, you won’t even notice. You’ll think you read or listened to whatever they’re selling independently, because the speaker genuinely inspired or understood you.
They know the right things to say to get what they want, and to make you think you thought it all by yourself. That’s how the Conservatives got in again.
I’m not about to rant (well, maybe a little), condemn them as bad people, or condemn anyone as a bad person. I’m not even about to do that bleeding heart liberal thing and say all rich people are bad and we should all concentrate on the poor.
What I am about to do is ask for a bit of common sense before you find safety in groups and pick a side – because that side will have been picked for you by increments though the spreading of an idea that quite deliberately divides the nation unfairly and unnecessarily via PR masquerading as journalism.
It’s divisive politics made palatable by marketing and PR, it’s dangerous, and it fucks everyone over (yes, even the supporters).
So, as promised, here’s my top 5 ‘tips’ (read: lies) to watch out for.
They’re not lies from any particular party, but the lies you tell yourself.
1. Work hard
Working hard is commendable, I am a big believer in that. But that depends what you work hard at. Working hard is in no way a guarantee of ‘success’ if you count success in the limited terms being doled out by the current government.
You can work hard at things that benefit people other than yourself and those in your immediate vicinity, and, shock horror, be happy.
2. Have aspiration
If you are aspiring to make enough money to look after yourself and your family, great. If you are aspiring to have a the best house, an enviable lifestyle, all that shit, you’re fucked.
There will always be someone better off. You will feel increasingly lost and useless as you strive to gain more stuff you don’t need, but you will keep trying, moving pointless goal posts, feeling like you deserve more. You don’t. Comparing yourself will only make you feel bad.
If you aspire to be comfortable and to look after those less fortunate when you can, that’s success.
Do you fit in with your aspirational neighbours?
Do you feel like the people in your office/street judge your clothes, the way you raise your kids? Do you take photos of the food you eat in the best restaurants to prove to them you’ve ‘made it’? Do you worry about your furnishings and whether you shop in the right places?
What use is that to anyone?
It makes you anxious and it makes you buy more stuff. Who wins there?
Not you, or your peers, you anxious lot. The government and corporations win though. That’s why they told you you had to fit in or you’d failed. It’s not a Fight Club anarchy thing I’m preaching here. I’m just saying it’s pretty daft when you think about it.
Stop worrying so much. What’s the worst that could happen?
4. Have pride
What are you proud of?
Are you proud of being British? Great. Proud of being in a job that pays well, with a house that looks lovely? Wicked.
I’m not slamming that at all. As I said, I work in digital marketing, I worked hard to get here. My first job was sweeping up hair in a hairdressers in Lincolnshire aged 13, which, incidentally, I loved. We all want to do well for ourselves. But don’t for a second let that make you shun anyone else, and think about what it means to do ‘well’.
Pride is great, but not if it makes you selfish or feel above anyone else. People end up in various situations for a multitude of reasons. And not everyone wants the things you are told en masse, to aspire to. That’s fine.
4. You deserve it
Some people will work hard all their lives and have nothing. This government will make them feel bad about it. Like they aren’t working hard enough.
They will encourage you, who are comfortable, whether by luck or hard work, to blame them.
There are plenty of wonderful, interesting, intelligent people who aren’t like you, and who you may never meet in your comfy position, who deserve just as much as you do. If you manage to get into a position where you can encourage those people you should. Not because they are below you, or need your pity, but because we are all trying and it’s fucking helpful to be encouraged rather than made to feel like a failure.
5. Change your outlook with this one weird tip…
Don’t let this government sell you on quick, click bait headlines and motivational, aspirational toss just because you have a ’proper’ job.
Don’t be sold on this article either. Just have a think. For yourself.
Will the big house, the great car, the holidays and all that crap genuinely make you sit back and say – I’m relaxed now, I’ve made it, I’m, genuinely happy?
Admit it. Probably not.
If the answer is yes, sorry I wasted your time. They already won.
If you are as worried as I am, I’ll be marching against austerity in London on June 20th. Join in.
An unflinchingly big topic for an unfeasibly small stage, it’s hard to do BurntOut Theatre’s Muscovado the justice it deserves in a short review.
Playwright Matilda Ibini transports us to the sugar-cane plantations of Barbados during the dying throes of slavery, with the Slavery Abolition Act about to be passed. Plantation owners Miss Kitty (Clemmie Reynolds) and her husband, the threatening Captain, are struggling to keep control over their slaves in the face of a rapidly changing social landscape.
Sinister, tragic and hopeful in equal measure, Under the Dark Moon sees Bristol’s wonderfully creative Invisible Circus leading us on an adventure through our fears.